Moving beyond a life defined by pain.

Are We Healing, or Just Telling the Story of Our Suffering?

You keep praying for peace.

For healing, good health and loving relationships.

But every day… you rehearse your pain like it’s your personality.

You’ve decorated your identity with your wounds.

You wear your heartbreak, your illness, your struggles—like badges of honor.

And I get it. Because for a while… it feels like strength.

"There is pride in pain."

I heard that quote recently and it stopped me in my tracks.

And it made me ask myself something I’m going to ask you now: Are we actually healing… …or have we just gotten really good at telling the story of our suffering?

Pain as Personality

You had to be the strong one. Or the quiet one. The “fixer.” The “too much.” The “never enough.”

And somewhere along the line, pain became familiar. Familiar became comfortable. And comfortable became home.

But now… you’re not just carrying the wound—you’re narrating your life from it.

You meet new people, and you expect betrayal.

You get opportunities, and sabotage shows up like a shadow.

You try to trust, but your brain says, “Nope. That didn’t end well last time.”

You see, your pain has become a lens. And everything that enters your world gets filtered through it.

Even the good things. Love feels threatening. Success feels unsafe. Peace feels unfamiliar.

So you reach for control… or the wine glass, that pack of cigarettes… or the chocolate, Netflix binge watching, video games, scrolling through social media… or the toxic ex.

You numb. You overthink. You shut down.

Not because you’re weak—but because the pain is predictable.

And healing? Healing feels like free-falling.

Victimhood in the Spotlight

We live in a culture that rewards pain.

You can literally become famous for your suffering.

You get the likes. The sympathy. The validation. The community.

Cry online and you’re “authentic.” Show joy… and people get suspicious.

So what happens?

You start building your identity—and maybe even your platform—on your wounds.

You keep telling the story… not because you’re still there… but because it’s what your audience expects.

Pain becomes your brand.

And the scariest part?

You start needing new problems—new drama, new breakdowns—just to stay relevant.

And this doesn’t only happen online.

Sometimes the audience is your family. Your partner. Your closest friends.

And deep down… you realize the only time they really see you, really check in, really show up—is when something’s going wrong.

So you stay sick. You stay stuck. Not because you want to—but because it’s the only way you know to be loved.

How We Bond Through Brokenness

Think about it. How many of your relationships are rooted in shared pain?

We vent together. We trauma-dump. We say “same” when someone talks about their anxiety, their breakup, their burnout.

But what if you started healing—and they didn’t?

What if your joy no longer fit the dynamic?

Would they still love you if you were happy?

Would they still stay if you weren’t the one always falling apart?

We create emotional intimacy through shared wounds. And sometimes, healing feels like losing that connection.

But healing doesn’t mean leaving people behind—it means no longer bonding over suffering. It means inviting them into a new way of relating… if they’re willing.

The Hidden Cost of Staying Small

Can I lovingly tell you something? You are not here to build an identity around surviving. You’re here to thrive. To love. To lead. To expand.

And that means something uncomfortable: At some point, you have to outgrow your own excuses. You’ll have to stop saying, “This is just who I am.” “People always leave.” “I ruin everything.” “I’ll always be broken.”

Those are not truths. They are wounds. Loud wounds. And just because they’re loud, doesn’t mean they’re true.

Sometimes, we sabotage our own joy because we don’t believe we deserve it. We choose the drama we know instead of the peace we don’t. We numb ourselves just to avoid feeling what’s underneath. And slowly… the body starts to speak. It turns emotional chaos into chronic symptoms.

But here’s what I want you to hear: You’re allowed to change. You’re allowed to rest. You’re allowed to outgrow the version of you that was just trying to survive.

How to Know You're Living in a Victim Mentality

Let’s make it practical for a moment.

How do you actually know… that you’re stuck in a victim mentality?

It’s not always dramatic.

Sometimes it’s quiet. Subtle. Normalized.

But here are some signs that your mind—and your nervous system—are still living in a story of powerlessness:

1. You say things like: “It’s just how I am.”

   You’ve stopped believing you can change.

   You wear your limitations like a label:

   • “I just have anxiety.”

   • “I’m just not a confident person.”

   • “I’ve always had a slow metabolism.”

   • “Love never works for me.”

   You’ve mistaken survival strategies for personality traits.

   With the method I use—hypnosis combined with NLP—we gently interrupt these identity loops and install a new, empowered self-image. You don’t need years of therapy. Sometimes, one session is enough to shift how your subconscious sees “who you are.”

   
   

2. You use pain as identity glue.

   You find yourself talking only about what’s wrong.

   Even in love—you expect betrayal. In health—you expect symptoms.

   You’ve rehearsed the story of “what happened to you” so much… ...you no longer remember who you were before the pain.

   My process helps you gently detach from the identity of the wounded self. We go to the core of when you “became” that version of you—and update that emotional imprint so your nervous system can finally let go.

   
   

3. You have addictions or compulsions you minimize.

   Whether it’s food, cigarettes, alcohol, social media, porn, gambling, shopping or toxic relationships… You use these to regulate your emotions.

   You numb when life feels overwhelming.

   You “reward” yourself after a bad day, even if it leads to more guilt or debt.

   Not because you’re weak—but because your nervous system learned that chaos is safer than stillness.

   Hypnosis and NLP help you stop the addictive loop at the subconscious level—where the habit was first learned. We replace the compulsion with an internal sense of safety, regulation, and control.

   
   

4. You have chronic health issues that mirror emotional wounds.

   Migraines. Fatigue. Insomnia. Digestive issues. Hormonal imbalances.

   You’ve tried everything… but your body still whispers: “Something’s not safe.”

   Often, that “something” is unprocessed grief, shame, or fear.

   Your body keeps the score… and it’s trying to get your attention.

   My approach teaches the body that it is safe to release and reset. Through deep trance and inner work, you can resolve the emotional trauma stored in your cells—sometimes leading to physical relief even after years of symptoms.

   
   

5. You reject discipline, but secretly crave it.

   You say you don’t have time for exercise. You “forget” to hydrate. You start things and abandon them.

   But deep down—you crave structure. You want to feel strong, energized, and alive.

   You just don’t trust yourself yet to follow through—because somewhere in your past, success was linked with pain, shame, or rejection.

   Through hypnosis, we rewire the meaning your subconscious gives to success and structure. NLP helps build new neural pathways that link consistency with ease, pride, and progress—not punishment.

   
   

6. You feel threatened by other people’s joy or success.

   When someone heals, glows up, gets into a healthy relationship, or starts a business… ...a voice inside you whispers:

   • “That’s easy for them.”

   • “It’ll never happen for me.”

   That’s not jealousy. That’s unhealed grief.

   A part of you still believes you’re not allowed to have more.

   In session, we meet the part of you that decided it was “not safe” or “not fair” to rise. We rewire that message and plant new inner beliefs like: “It’s safe to shine” and “I’m allowed to feel good, even if others don’t.”

   
   

7. You’re tired all the time, but nothing’s “wrong.”

   You sleep, but you wake up drained. You rest, but don’t feel restored.

   That’s not laziness. That’s emotional fatigue from carrying a story that no longer fits.

   Hypnosis gives your nervous system access to deep rest—the kind that regenerates from within. Then it helps eliminate mental loops that drain your energy and replace them with thoughts that energize and support you.

If any of these feel painfully accurate… It’s not a reason to shame yourself.

It’s a reason to pause. To reflect. To ask:

“What part of me still believes that healing isn’t possible?”

“What belief is keeping me loyal to my old identity?”

Because awareness is the first step to freedom.

And freedom? It starts with radical honesty.

You don’t have to be perfect.

You just have to see it.

And the moment you see it… we can shift it—together.

The Rebirth of Responsibility

If you're still reading this... I know something about you.

Something has lit up in you.

You’ve crossed an invisible line between “maybe one day…” and “I’m ready now.”

You’re on your way to take back your life.

Some steps may be firm, strong, and fast...Others might feel shaky, unsure, hesitant.

And that’s okay. Because what matters is this:

You’ve had enough of being led by your trauma.

You’re ready to start carrying your truth.

Healing doesn’t always look like rainbows and yoga poses.

Sometimes, it looks like trembling when you set a boundary.

Like grieving the attention you used to get from your sadness.

Like sitting in the silence... after people walk away—because they only knew how to love your broken version.

But it’s worth it.

Because you’re no longer living from the story that was written about you.

You’re writing a new one.

From power. From presence. From peace.

And here’s something interesting I once heard Jeff Bezos say in an interview. He said one of the most revealing questions he asks during job interviews is: “Do you think you’re lucky?”

Because people who believe they’re lucky... they take more risks. They stay open. They expect good. But people who believe they’re cursed? They only see closed doors. Even when one opens—they doubt it, sabotage it, or walk away from it.

That’s what psychology calls cognitive bias.

Your brain will always try to prove your beliefs true.

But what if that belief isn’t even yours? What if it was inherited? Repeated so many times your nervous system started calling it truth?

Here’s what I know:

You don’t need a perfect past to create a powerful future.

You don’t need permission to rise.

You just need a decision. Your own decision.

You can’t heal if you’re still waiting for someone else to come save you.

You are the author now.

And with great power… comes great responsibility.

Who Are You Without the Wound?

So I want to ask you…

Who are you—without your pain, your illness, your struggles, your misfortune, and your victimhood as the main characters?

What do you want—not just for survival… but for joy? For expansion? For freedom?

Who do you become when your story is no longer about being broken… but about rising? And who are you here to inspire, once you stop performing your wounds… and start embodying your wholeness?

Because here’s the truth: You are not broken. You’re healing from the lie that said you had to be.

And healing? It’s sacred. Messy. Brave. Uncomfortable. But sacred.

If no one told you this today: You’re doing better than you think. You’re further along than it feels. And no—your light is not too much.

Keep going. The world doesn’t need your wounds in HD. It needs your presence. Your power. Your peace.

I’m proud of you. So proud.

If this spoke to your soul, share it with someone who needs to hear it. Subscribe. Stick around. I’ve got your back.

And if you’re ready to go deeper— To truly release the survival story and step into a life you don’t have to escape from… I’d be honored to support you. You can find more about my private sessions and online programs in the description below.

Let’s walk this healing journey together. You are not alone. And your healing—matters.

Talk soon!